Decluttering and Downshifting

Now, a word of warning- I imagine this post is going to be a long-winded stream-of-conciousness type of thing so bear with me and enjoy the ride!

I feel a shift occurring in me- there's change on the winds. A few years ago, I spent a year living on La Palma, a small island in the Canaries, where I spent most of my time hanging out with creative, spiritual, fun, special people, kindred spirits, who had left the rat race in search of a simpler, more fulfilled life. Each of us were and are on a journey to find a deeper meaning to our existence and at that moment in time we were journeying together. What I remember most about La Palma is the freedom I felt- I worked in a high school but outside of work, I spent hours wandering and exploring, making art and being creative using any materials I could find, meditating, laughing, dancing and loving life. The decision to come back to the UK to complete my degree was hard, to say the least. I didn't want to leave my little island, the friends I'd made and the peace I'd found but I did and in the years since I've noticed me change again becoming more anxious, self-conscious, materialistic and overly concerned with "keeping up with the Jones."

I am a hoarder, now more than ever, but I do not believe that this habit serves to help me. Having so much junk hinders me in ways I can only see now. I can't enjoy what I have as there is too much stuff- magazines, clothes, books, makeup and personal care products- most of which I buy in a frenzied attempt to "fix" some inadequacy highlighted by a book, the TV, a blog I've read, Pinterest, society in general.... We are taught that we are not good enough, not beautiful, we need more stuff, better clothes, more, more, more.... and we are taught we need to do more, to work more, be more social, have "perfect" bodies, sex, relationships, houses.... And no matter what we do there is always the "Fear"- the Fear that we really aren't good enough, that someone will find our hidden shame and invented shortcomings, the guilt that we have for merely being human, being ourselves, occupying space and of course, the Fear that what we have will run out, that there isn't enough to go around, especially these days with everyone talking about economic recession and doom. I have all of those fears and feelings and coupled with a love of frugality and getting things for free means that no matter what you offer me, if it's free, I'll have it and hoard it.

And now I can sense a change in my perception of the world, of what I need, my wants, desires and dreams and whether what I own or spend my money and time on actually serves to enrich my life and to be honest, most of what I own is useless, stuff I haven't touched in over a year, that I'm keeping for that "just-in-case" moment, for craft projects I'm unlikely to ever have time to complete. I enjoy wearing makeup on occasion but I am starting to educate myself on the dangers of certain chemicals in cosmetics (more information to come in another blog post), on using greener cleaning methods, home cooking and healthy living and generally finding out what is important to me in my life. These mostly centre around my relationships- with my boyfriend, my friends and my family and being creative and helping people.

So I am consciously making a change- to get rid of the clutter and to slow down. Because life shouldn't be like a treadmill that we run from birth, to school, to university, to work, to death.... Life is for living and it's up to us to determine how.

Love

Halloween!

Halloween- such an opportunity for crafting, fun and general frolicking, along with some reflection and magic making! Every year I look forward to Halloween and every year it creeps up on me! Of course, this year was no different but inspired by the day I wrote this poem whilst writing my Morning Pages on the 31st October and I thought I'd share it with you. Originally called the "Faery Hunt" I did a bit of research and found that the event I'm describing is known as the "Wild Hunt." Enjoy and I hope you all had a suitable spooky Halloween this year!

Love

The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron- Week 1 and How I Got On

The premise of the 12-week course set out by the Artist's Way is that every week there are a number of exercises to be done relating to a different topic. Week 1's topic is "Recovering a Sense of Safety" which looks at using positive affirmations to help drown out all of those negative things you've learnt or absorbed over the years about being creative and artists in general. Now I have a confession to make. I didn't actually get round to doing the affirmations themselves.

However... throughout the 12 weeks there are 2 exercises that must be done each day and/or each week. The daily exercise is known as the morning pages, which is basically journalling, that you do every day when you wake up. This involves writing 3 pages of anything you can think of (or not think of- you can simply write "I don't know what to write" for 3 pages) as long as 3 pages are filled and it's done when you wake up. This acts as a sort of information dump. I'm happy to say that I have done this every day this week but I do find it a challenge to write first thing in the morning so I think it might be worth experimenting with times of day that I write, be it in the evening before sleep or on the train to work.
I have found though that writing does give me insight and a sense of calm when thinking problems through, even issues that I didn't even know were bothering me!

Then the exercise to be done each week is the Artist's Date. This involves spending some time- a couple of hours to an afternoon- alone, being creative or doing something that inspires you. My first Artist's Date was pretty spontaneous when I found myself walking down Dale Street where I discovered a community-led art space called the Fallout Factory. I went into to see the current exhibition, an interactive show called Mak?ing Sense, and had loads of fun!

The giant ball of squishiness was the first piece that grabs you- this is a photo I took from outside.

It's a huge ball of multi-textured goodness, that looks, feels and sounds like a cat toy (if you hit it!) I spent ages feeling the different materials and even sticking my head in some of the deeper grooves (yes, because that's what I do!) Haha! But search further into the space and you'll find a basement in which was a single light source and a mirror . It took me some time for my eyes to adjust to the semi-darkness but it was so peaceful down there and I ended up playing with the light creating this shape on the legs...

A broken heart! I live a life full of love- my friends, my family and my boyfriend and I am hugely lucky and grateful for them all- but I think and feel that I could love and value myself more, a worthwhile lesson that I took away from this week's exercises. I can only wonder what discoveries Week 2 holds! And if you're in Liverpool, take a trip to the Fallout Factory- it's well worth a look! 

Love