My Monthly Goals: January 2014

-       Finish my bureau makeover.

This is my bureau in its current state- halfway between MDF horror and painted loveliness! 

-       Complete one ongoing crochet project.

-       Drink 2 litres of water everyday.

-       Create a 2014 Happiness Jar and place one note about a moment of happiness in it each day for the remainder of the year.

-       Complete and submit my UCAS application for the Paramedic Practice course. 

-       Love Myself More. 

Love 

Welcome 2014!

Happy New Year!

I'm starting this year on a high after having a fantastic time over the holidays with loved ones. It was a quiet holiday season this year- no parties, just lots of time spent chilling and lounging around, drinking, eating chocolate and watching Frasier and The Big Bang Theory and a couple of Christmas movies (I've finally seen National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and I can safely say I love it!)

Reading the last couple of posts from last year I can definitely say that I'm searching for a new direction in life and was feeling a bit jaded with just about everything! However, a new year means a new start and I am determined that 2014 will be my year, whatever it throws at me!

My single biggest resolution this year is to Love Myself More.

Exactly as I am, no quibbles, no questions asked. I've spent 25 years of my life criticising myself so I'm eager to see what happens when I love and accept myself instead!

Happy 2014!

Love

Dreams- Choosing the Path Less Travelled

Yet another rambling blog post! Who knows where this one will take us?

A dream is a seed, an idea planted in your head that you wish one day to see come to fruition. The inspiration for this dream can come from anywhere; a book or article, a picture, painting, film, quote, conversation, a friend, lover, parent or simply from sitting, gazing out of the window, wondering "what if....?" The inspiration for the dream can come instantly and disappear just as quickly but the dream lingers on, taking hold and resurfacing again and again, whispering "follow me...."

At 25 I'm still young and I have a lot of dreams. Some of these are to do with travelling, to meeting new people and discovering new places, yet some of these are to do with settling down and starting a family; of having children, seeing them grow and teaching them. Some of these dreams relate to career and what I wish to achieve in my life, to where I live, how I live and a whole host of other dreams!

I want to change the world and I'm young enough and naive enough to believe that, whilst I might not change the world in any big way, maybe I can make it a better place for spending time here.

On the one hand I want to become a paramedic and save people's lives but on the other hand I want to create my own permaculture haven, living in harmony with the land, using my creativity and determination to build my own house (an Earthship or using some recycled material such as an old shipping container), living simply and free of the restrictions of the rat race, the endless hamster wheel that is drip fed to us from birth as the only means by which to define our successes, of finishing school, college, university then entering some mind-numbing corporate job, which no one cares if you enjoy as long as it pays the rent, the mortgage, the bills, for the designer clothes, car, holidays and fancy gadgets billed to us as "the comforts of modern living" whilst all around us the Earth is dying, suffering under our greed, our selfishness and we all suffer, from some lack or other, be it shelter, food, love or community.

And yet I find myself thinking, my mind wandering and wondering between choices, chances, dreams and reality (you know- the little voice whispering "Stay safe! Close the door on your dreams! Live a "normal" life (see rant above)!") how on earth do we pick which dreams to pursue? Can our dreams coexist; do we actually have to choose which dreams to pursue? And how can we ever possibly fit in all we hope to do, all of our dreams into the such short time we are alive?

And when I feel like my dreams aren't getting any closer, when I feel like tomorrow can't some soon enough I watch this guy and he inspires me to keep going!

So here's to our dreams, to changing the world and may you find your dreams and the courage to pursue them!

Love

Decluttering and Downshifting

Now, a word of warning- I imagine this post is going to be a long-winded stream-of-conciousness type of thing so bear with me and enjoy the ride!

I feel a shift occurring in me- there's change on the winds. A few years ago, I spent a year living on La Palma, a small island in the Canaries, where I spent most of my time hanging out with creative, spiritual, fun, special people, kindred spirits, who had left the rat race in search of a simpler, more fulfilled life. Each of us were and are on a journey to find a deeper meaning to our existence and at that moment in time we were journeying together. What I remember most about La Palma is the freedom I felt- I worked in a high school but outside of work, I spent hours wandering and exploring, making art and being creative using any materials I could find, meditating, laughing, dancing and loving life. The decision to come back to the UK to complete my degree was hard, to say the least. I didn't want to leave my little island, the friends I'd made and the peace I'd found but I did and in the years since I've noticed me change again becoming more anxious, self-conscious, materialistic and overly concerned with "keeping up with the Jones."

I am a hoarder, now more than ever, but I do not believe that this habit serves to help me. Having so much junk hinders me in ways I can only see now. I can't enjoy what I have as there is too much stuff- magazines, clothes, books, makeup and personal care products- most of which I buy in a frenzied attempt to "fix" some inadequacy highlighted by a book, the TV, a blog I've read, Pinterest, society in general.... We are taught that we are not good enough, not beautiful, we need more stuff, better clothes, more, more, more.... and we are taught we need to do more, to work more, be more social, have "perfect" bodies, sex, relationships, houses.... And no matter what we do there is always the "Fear"- the Fear that we really aren't good enough, that someone will find our hidden shame and invented shortcomings, the guilt that we have for merely being human, being ourselves, occupying space and of course, the Fear that what we have will run out, that there isn't enough to go around, especially these days with everyone talking about economic recession and doom. I have all of those fears and feelings and coupled with a love of frugality and getting things for free means that no matter what you offer me, if it's free, I'll have it and hoard it.

And now I can sense a change in my perception of the world, of what I need, my wants, desires and dreams and whether what I own or spend my money and time on actually serves to enrich my life and to be honest, most of what I own is useless, stuff I haven't touched in over a year, that I'm keeping for that "just-in-case" moment, for craft projects I'm unlikely to ever have time to complete. I enjoy wearing makeup on occasion but I am starting to educate myself on the dangers of certain chemicals in cosmetics (more information to come in another blog post), on using greener cleaning methods, home cooking and healthy living and generally finding out what is important to me in my life. These mostly centre around my relationships- with my boyfriend, my friends and my family and being creative and helping people.

So I am consciously making a change- to get rid of the clutter and to slow down. Because life shouldn't be like a treadmill that we run from birth, to school, to university, to work, to death.... Life is for living and it's up to us to determine how.

Love

Halloween!

Halloween- such an opportunity for crafting, fun and general frolicking, along with some reflection and magic making! Every year I look forward to Halloween and every year it creeps up on me! Of course, this year was no different but inspired by the day I wrote this poem whilst writing my Morning Pages on the 31st October and I thought I'd share it with you. Originally called the "Faery Hunt" I did a bit of research and found that the event I'm describing is known as the "Wild Hunt." Enjoy and I hope you all had a suitable spooky Halloween this year!

Love

The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron- Week 1 and How I Got On

The premise of the 12-week course set out by the Artist's Way is that every week there are a number of exercises to be done relating to a different topic. Week 1's topic is "Recovering a Sense of Safety" which looks at using positive affirmations to help drown out all of those negative things you've learnt or absorbed over the years about being creative and artists in general. Now I have a confession to make. I didn't actually get round to doing the affirmations themselves.

However... throughout the 12 weeks there are 2 exercises that must be done each day and/or each week. The daily exercise is known as the morning pages, which is basically journalling, that you do every day when you wake up. This involves writing 3 pages of anything you can think of (or not think of- you can simply write "I don't know what to write" for 3 pages) as long as 3 pages are filled and it's done when you wake up. This acts as a sort of information dump. I'm happy to say that I have done this every day this week but I do find it a challenge to write first thing in the morning so I think it might be worth experimenting with times of day that I write, be it in the evening before sleep or on the train to work.
I have found though that writing does give me insight and a sense of calm when thinking problems through, even issues that I didn't even know were bothering me!

Then the exercise to be done each week is the Artist's Date. This involves spending some time- a couple of hours to an afternoon- alone, being creative or doing something that inspires you. My first Artist's Date was pretty spontaneous when I found myself walking down Dale Street where I discovered a community-led art space called the Fallout Factory. I went into to see the current exhibition, an interactive show called Mak?ing Sense, and had loads of fun!

The giant ball of squishiness was the first piece that grabs you- this is a photo I took from outside.

It's a huge ball of multi-textured goodness, that looks, feels and sounds like a cat toy (if you hit it!) I spent ages feeling the different materials and even sticking my head in some of the deeper grooves (yes, because that's what I do!) Haha! But search further into the space and you'll find a basement in which was a single light source and a mirror . It took me some time for my eyes to adjust to the semi-darkness but it was so peaceful down there and I ended up playing with the light creating this shape on the legs...

A broken heart! I live a life full of love- my friends, my family and my boyfriend and I am hugely lucky and grateful for them all- but I think and feel that I could love and value myself more, a worthwhile lesson that I took away from this week's exercises. I can only wonder what discoveries Week 2 holds! And if you're in Liverpool, take a trip to the Fallout Factory- it's well worth a look! 

Love

Secret Treasure #1: Hidden Art at Moorfields Station

I love wandering. I love taking a different route and finding something unexpected so when I decided to take a different route out of Moorfields Station last night I was quite delighted to stumble upon this artwork.

Created by

Each piece consists of a frame that represents a different country with things associated with that country included and the word "Welcome!" In each different language. It was great fun trying to identify  the different countries (before looking at the flag if they had one!) 

There's China

India

Spain

Germany

Australia

Italy

South Africa (I'm guessing- it's obviously an African country so I went with the safest option. I'm not actually sure which African country this represents.)

the United States of America

France- complete with beret! 

Wales, Scotland and Ireland combined

and Greece! 

Of course, there had to be one from Liverpool! :-) 

I really enjoyed looking at what was picked to represent each country and seeing the thought and detail that had gone into each one. So if you find yourself wandering in or out of the Old Hall St entrance towards the Northern Line in Moorfields Station, have a look! It might just make you smile! :-)